contagion
by windthorne
Summary: In their world, love was dangerous. Love was inhumane and unhealthy, a sickening drug that could weaken even the strongest. It was believed to be a disease, an infection implemented into the mind—and it's rather unfortunate that they had both caught it… for each other. AU Jeankasa, w/ Ereannie


a/n: hey guys, this is my first multi chapter fic! i'm super excited about this (but also really, really scared) and i hope you enjoy this as much as i do.

this is only the intro, which means not too many shippy moments (but i promise next ch, definitely).

are you ready for a wild ride?

* * *

_**love**_, n. [luhv]

a highly contagious disorder and/or disease that negatively affects the bodies of humans, namely the brain, heart, and nervous system. signs or symptoms include addiction, rising body temperature, overuse of bodily movements, heart rate increase, possible damage to the nerve system, **and insanity**.

_**do not fall in love.**_

* * *

Mikasa Ackerman has only heard the word "love" a few times.

She's learned about it in class, of course-how it's a horrifying disease that can weaken even the strongest man, a pesky germ that spreads across cities and tears them apart. She's learned that "love" is a nauseating feeling, an infection that hurts the body more than helps. "Love" was contagious, and needed to be stopped.

She was taught that love was sick and wrong-that loving someone was the faulty choice and that that was how the world worked.

At least, that's how it's been for the past century.

For as long as she could remember, she had lived in a place where love was just not allowed. Any sign of love, even the mention of the explicit word, would be-as said by President Reiss himself-dealt with consequences. People feared love-there was no talk of it, since everybody was so suspicious when it came to the topic. They feared that once one spoke of it, they would catch the disease, and eventually it would spread-enough to where everybody would be affected.

Love was a scary thing-and that was how Mikasa viewed it.

For years, she thought love was unacceptable and evil. She grew up to believe that you couldn't love, couldn't be loved, and couldn't have love.

It was the way of society, the norm. Everybody thought of love the same way.

Love was dangerous.

* * *

The last time Mikasa saw her parents was when she was only 9 years old.

Her memory of the night she had last seen them was vague and unclear, resembling a dream that didn't seem real. She can remember how dreary the day was, the raindrops splashing across the tinted windows as her family sat around the dinner table for a rare gathering. Her grandparents were with them as well (another rare occurrence), and they were eating a meal that could have been deemed pleasant-if only she could remember what it was.

The dinner was going well, just like any other supper and just like any other meeting-

And then her mother had slipped.

They had finished eating dinner, and her father had cracked a lame joke that had her mother giggling and smiling back with her soft eyes.

Mikasa can pinpoint the exact moment where it all fell apart.

Her mother had turned towards her father, a dreamy look on her face. "_I love you._" she had said, so plain and simple, as if it was part of any other normal conversation.

But it wasn't.

It took a moment for both of her parents to realize what had just ensued between the two of them-a proclamation of love. They were both too caught up in each other to notice the others in the room-meaning her and her grandparents.

And when they did finally realize their actions, it was already too late.

Her grandparents stared at her mom like she had grown a third eye-their expressions filled with bewilderment and dismay...

And _fear_.

But why fear? She didn't know before.

The house was silent as the phrase sank in, meandering through the walls, spreading through the ears and the silence and slowly creeping into Mikasa's mind. No one spoke, nor thought, because nothing could be said or done to undo the lasting words.

Mikasa didn't have a clue what was happening then. She had thought that it was just a small mistake, a slip up, an outburst that wasn't intended to mean what it was. She had thought that it was a foreign feeling indeed-to hear the words "I love you" for the first time, that is. She had never heard a saying put together like that, and now she would never forget.

5 hours later, in the middle of the caliginous night, _they_ had come.

_They_, as in the Anti-Amores or the AA, the "police of love", whose job was specifically to capture anybody who is in danger of catching "love."

They had come into her house without warning, storming around the complex and demanding the presence of her parents.

Immediately, Mikasa's mother ran into her room, whilst she was barely rising out of her sleep.

"Mama... what is going o-"

Her mother swiftly clamped her mouth mid-sentence. "Don't move." She whispered, before removing her hand.

Mikasa wiped her eyes, rest evading her. "Ma, there's too much noise..."

"I know, Mika, I know." Her mother began to wipe her eyes as well, and when Mikasa's eyesight finally adapted to the darkness, she realized that her mother was crying.

"Mama, why... why are you crying?" She asked.

Her mother was breathing hard, turning around towards the bedroom entrance every few seconds, her eyes wide with tears pouring down her cheeks. "Mikasa, Mikasa-listen to me now."

"But ma, why are you-"

"Listen to me, Mika, please." Her voice was low and fractured, and her hands flew to grab Mikasa's. "Do not move at all."

"Why?" She asked, perturbed. The noises in the hallway were becoming more boisterous and rowdy, the yelling of the AA increasing in volume.

"Just for safety," Her mother squeezed her hands tightly. "Your papa and I need to go talk to the men downstairs, okay?"

"Okay," Mikasa answered quietly.

A humble smile spread across her mother's glistening face. "We're going to be gone only for a bit," She stated. "But I promise that when you wake up, we'll be right here. Is that okay with you?"

Mikasa nodded just as the voices down the hall were joined by her grandparents.

"She had said it," Her grandma yelled. "_She_ was the one who said it, I promise!"

Her mother's face changed from endearing to frightened in a split second.

"Mikasa," She pulled her child into her arms in a lasting hug. "I will be here in the morning, but all I ask is that you do not move from this spot." She removed her from her grasp to clutch Mikasa's shoulders in a frenzy. "Please... _please_ stay here."

"Okay, mama," She said, doing exactly as she was told.

"Thank you," Her mother had whispered, before she had kissed her daughter's forehead and walked out the door one last time.

In the midst of the chaos that commenced in their house that night, Mikasa still fell asleep, following her mother's orders and staying right where she was. She could hear the faint screams and shouting of all of her family members, and the calm commands of the AA. There was lots of ruckus, including the shattering of glass and the banging of a couple of heads onto walls (as she inferred).

Despite the commotion, she didn't move an inch.

Maybe out of fear or just out of tiredness, she still stayed.

The next morning, both her parents and grandparents were nowhere to be found.

Mikasa was quick to investigate the eerie silence, jumping out of her bed and opening the door in a flash.

She had run out her room, expecting to see her parents, _or somebody_ for the matter, but instead she was met with blood. A lot of blood.

She had expected some, but not as much as she was looking at. Broken shards of glass were splayed across the floor, a long with doors left wide open and no space to move without cutting her feet.

She stood there outside her door for a long time, and it probably would have been longer if it wasn't for the fast-paced footsteps that were coming down the hall and approaching her. Mikasa turned to look, wishing it was mama or papa-but it was a green-eyed boy of her height, gawking at her in shock.

They both shared a gaze, their mouths agape and their minds clueless.

Before she could even react, he was sprinting down the hallway, yelling as he went.

"Dad! There's a girl!" he wailed. "There's a girl here! They left her!"

A few seconds later, a tall, brooding man with glasses charged in, his eyebrows scrunched and his eyes filled with displeasure. She immediately recognized him as Dr. Jaeger, whom came to visit often.

"Eren, I don't have time for you to be making up nonsense-"

As soon as he took sight of her, his expression immediately changed to one of awe. He stared at her, unable to form coherent words.

"My god," He breathed. "_Mikasa_."

It was quiet for a moment, as she slowly began to piece it all together. _W__hat in the world was happening_...

"Mikasa. Come with us."

..._ No._

"They're gone." Dr. Jaeger said. "I don't know what happened to them. But they're not here... and you're..."

_It can't be._

"Dr. Jaeger," She whispered. "Where... where are my parents?"

A beat. And then, "I... I don't know."

Mikasa couldn't breathe. She looked around the hallway, taking in all the blood and brokenness.

_All this... just because of love?_

"I..." She held back a sob inside. "What... what do I do now?"

Dr. Jaeger sighed, rubbing his face whilst the little boy, Eren, looked at her with a blank expression.

"Come with us, Mikasa." He said after a moment. "We'll help you."

She stood there for a while, unsure of what to do.

But she was lonely. Her family was gone. She had nowhere to gone, nowhere to live now.

She was alone.

And so she did. She was practically thrown into the care of her parents' close friends, the Jaeger's.

She had not a clue what was done to her family-or more so, she did know, but she refused to believe it was true.

Mikasa only knew that when people disappeared out of sight, they either never come back the same, or they never come back at all.

The latter was the outcome of her family.

To this day, she still doesn't know what happened to them.

But she wishes she did. Every single day.

Her life was changed forever, all because of one phrase that she had never heard before that day.

_I love you_. Those words were all it took for everything to come crashing down.

Mikasa loathed the idea of love from that day onward.

_Love must be destroyed._

* * *

Mikasa began to notice that events like her parents' disappearances happened a lot in her world, more often than not because of the same reasons.

Numerous times she had watched people get taken away by talking about love.

When she was 12, her 6th grade teacher had said, "It's okay to love sometimes."

A few minutes later, the AA arrived and dragged her out of the classroom by her hair.

The AA was brutal and merciless to their infected hostages. They weren't afraid of hurting their caught victims in front of others-Mikasa believed it was to induce fear onto the population.

Because nobody had moved to help her. Nobody flinched when she screamed.

They all just watched.

She never saw her teacher again.

When she was 15, Eren had told her that he was in love with another girl-and she didn't know how to react.

"I think I love her, Mikasa," He had sputtered out in a daze.

The girl-her name was Annie-was taken away by the AA a few days later.

When she had come back, she was a completely different person-lifeless and brainwashed, stuck in a haze that no one could get through. She didn't remember a single thing about Eren or about what they were before she had gotten taken away. It was evident that she had been given an inoculation-the "cure" to the disease of "love."

The inoculation was the infamous treatment for people in love-but for most that got caught, it was their death sentence. Only about 10% of the people given the inoculation lived. Annie was one of them.

But Annie was nothing like the person she was before. And neither was Eren.

It's clear even today that he's still not over it, even when it was so long ago. He became more resentful and heated towards life, and Mikasa noticed it all.

She realized that, because of love, he had changed, too.

_Love was ruthless._

* * *

A year has passed since then.

Mikasa sighs as she speedily walks down the school hallway in a daze, her mind whirling as her thoughts got the best of her.

She is now 17, about to graduate and start over, and is more bitter about love than ever before.

But while she does think of love in a fallacious way, she's still completely dumbfounded by it.

It's obvious that love wasn't needed in her world. She has more than enough substantial evidence to prove that love is detrimental.

But even then, she continues to think about it, day in and day out. It clings to her mind like bacteria, growing and multiplying by the second.

She was 9 when her parents got taken away for saying "_I love you_".

12 when she watched her teacher get arrested for saying "_It's okay to love._"

15 when she saw her brother's heart shatter for _feeling_ for another human.

And now, she's 17, about to enter a new era of her life, and all her past questions are still unanswered.

_Why is love so bad?_

_Why is love wrong?_

_Why is love just so-_

She turns the corner swiftly and promptly rams herself into another person, her head banging against theirs and shaking her fleeting thoughts away.

"Fuck!" The other person-definitely a male-screams out in pain.

Mikasa clutches her head, willing the slight throb to go away, before glancing up at the boy she had run into.

Hazel eyes, long face, tall and bulky-

Oh no. It's _him_.

The boy groans, taking a moment to collect himself, before meeting her gaze. "Oh, god, I'm so fucking-"

He suddenly stops, staring at her with wide eyes. "Mikasa."

"Jean." She says, a blush creeping up on her face. _Shit._

"Shit, I'm so sorry, Mikasa-"

She holds a hand up to shut him up. "It's fine, Jean." She unknowingly reaches up to tuck a strand of her ebony hair behind her right ear. "It's my fault. Sorry about that..."

"No problem, no problem at all!" Jean holds his hands up in defense, his cheeks crimson. "It's all good!"

Mikasa doesn't know how to respond, so she replies with a small smile, and he answers with one as well. They awkwardly stand there for another moment, before he clears his throat, chuckling softly.

Neither of them know where to go from there, so Jean puts his hands in his pockets and nods his head towards her. He flashes his signature smirk at her before proceeding to walk in the opposite direction, away from her.

Mikasa lets out a breath as he walks away, her hands slightly tingling as she watches him from behind.

Soon enough, she falls into her own step again, turning around and making her way to class, her thoughts taking her away again.

Eventually, she's lost in her questions anew.

..._What in the hell is love?..._

An image of a boy with amber eyes appears in her head, before dissipating a second later.

* * *

a/n: so is anybody confused yet? it's okay, i'll explain whatever you don't understand next time :)

as you can tell, this story is going to be both dark and mysterious, but at the same time filled with light-hearted and soft moments. yep. it's crazy right.

basically: love doesn't sit well with the people in Mikasa's world. because of this, many have disappeared in her life, while some have left and come back-only to never be the same.

where do they go? what happens to them? why is love so big and bad? what even is going on?_  
_

well, you'll just have to see!


End file.
